hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
PANTIES FOUND
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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