I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize