also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
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is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
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Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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