Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
