and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
