My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
