I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we made out on top of his cat.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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