she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
What drink are we having for lunch?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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