Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
