I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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