So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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