Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
