It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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