fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
