just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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