So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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