My hand turned me down
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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