Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You need a sexual gate keeper
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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