dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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