I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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