so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
