I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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