Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
