We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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