I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
