I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
