wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think people are normalizing furries
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
