im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
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Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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