While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize