Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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