wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just forgot I was standing up.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize