Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
