i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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