He kissed a someone with a penis
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
