what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
