we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
