If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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