I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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