I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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