Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
