from now on my penis is your penis
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
