Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
