I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
