tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize