apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
