If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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