Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
