I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
