I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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