Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
