it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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