Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
