Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
