Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
