TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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