Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
