Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
