I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
